Entries Tagged as 'Personal'

THIS

Posted on: Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Shauna Niequist truly is my patron saint or long lost big sister or something to that effect. I’ve read all of her books several times and find myself flipping through them, over and over, to soak up more wisdom and encouragement frequently. It’s like everything she writes, I am screaming YES YES YES out loud because her words hit so close to home and really resonate with me. I also like to think we would be besties IRL, but that’s for another blog post.

I recently started reading her latest book, Present Over Perfect, and one part of the What the Lake Teaches chapter made me stop and pause. I read it again and re-read and re-read and re-read. I showed it to Eric, telling him, “this is me! This is exactly what I need to remember every day!” and he agreed (and told me to print out these words). I read it to my mom, who said something similar; that I need to keep reminding myself of these truths over and over.

This was a powerful reminder to me – an extrovert, a die-hard people pleaser, an affirmation seeker – that I need to stop craving approval and acceptance from external sources and lean into what I know to be true about myself, what God thinks about me, and who I am without all of those compliments and affirmations and heavy expectations.

Here’s the excerpt. Hope you get as much out of it as I do and I highly recommend her new book! <3

But this is what I’ve learned the hard way: what people think about you means nothing in comparison to what you believe about yourself. Essentially, my identity depended on outwards approval, which changes on a dime. So you dance and you please and you placate and you prove. You become a three-ring circus and in each ring, you’re an entirely different performing animal, anything anyone wants you to be.

The crucial journey, then, for me, has been from dependence on external expectations, down into my own self, deeper still into God’s view of me, his love for me that doesn’t change, that will not change, that defines and grounds everything.

I bet it all on busyness, achievement, being known as responsible, and escaping when those things didn’t work. What I see now is that what I really wanted was love, grace, peace, connection.

When you decide, finally, to stop running on the fuel of anxiety, desire to prove, fear, shame, deep inadequacy – when you decide to walk away from that fuel for a while, there’s nothing but confusion and silence. You’re on the side of the road, empty tank, no idea what will propel you forward. It’s disorienting, freeing, terrifying. For a while, you just sit, contentedly, and contentment is the most foreign concept you know. But you learn it, shocking as it is, day by day, hour by hour. You sit in your own skin, being just your own plain self. And it’s okay. And it’s changing everything.

After a while, though, you learn you weren’t made only for contentment; that’s only half the puzzle. The other part is meaning, calling, love. And this is a new conversation, almost like speaking a second language – faltering, tongue-twisting, exhilarating.

#nofilter // speaking words of love over our bodies

Posted on: Wednesday, June 15, 2016

“don’t say that about yourself.”

this simple statement, said to me during a facial by a lovely esthetician, really stuck out to me. while she was doing extractions (ugh, these are so bad and good at the same time) i apologized to her for my “gross skin.” and she called me out – telling me that i should never call myself or my body gross and instead speak love to myself. and that i shouldn’t apologize for my body, period. it was nothing deep nor profound, but her words were a wake-up reminder that the words we say to ourselves, about ourselves, are so important.

for the past nine (!!) or so months, i’ve been dealing with some not-so-ideal hormonal adult acne. i didn’t really have bad acne growing up, aside for some small breakouts during that time of the month, and it’s been really challenging to experience bad acne as a 27-year-old. i changed my birth control method last fall and since, i’ve been struggling with acne on my chest, neck and parts of my face. i’ve tried lots of solutions and continuing to treat it – topical lotions and creams, antibiotics, these murad skin clarifying vitamins (highly recommend as they seem to be what’s actually helping), the whole nine yards. and the acne sometimes comes and goes. a few weeks ago, my chest was really clearing up – no redness and barely any bumps – and i was so excited. it’s working! i’m getting better! and then, this past weekend, my skin flared up and is redder and bumpier than ever. sigh.

i spent the morning of my wedding day anxious and upset about my skin (pre-makeup pic below, where you can see some breakout on my chest. thank you Sarah for your magical makeup skills! ). I’ve spent many regular mornings in a bad mood, not sure what to wear or how to cover up the bumpiness, the red, the imperfect. now, with warmer weather comes swimsuits and skin-baring tank tops, and that brings a whole new wave of worry over my skin.

i know that there are much bigger and more important issues that people are going through, but this whole skin thing for me has been unsettling and upsetting the past almost-year. my self-doubt and self-hate gets all worked up when i look at my skin and i say things to myself, about myself that aren’t edifying, helpful or remotely loving. it sounds weird to say this, but looking at my skin automatically puts me in a sour mood and makes me feel grumpy and frustrated.

so what i’m really trying to do, slowly, even when it’s hard, is to speak love to myself and to my body. even when i don’t look the way i want or when my skin isn’t “going back to normal”, i’m trying to not freak out, but to instead take a deep breath and move on. i’m trying to not let the way my skin looks on any given day affect my attitude and mindset. i’m trying my best to find solutions that work for my skin type, continue talking with my dermatologist and try my best to alleviate the redness and bumpiness, but ultimately – not let my acne define me as a person or ruin my day. when words like gross or disgusting or ugly pop into my head after looking at my skin, i’m remembering to “not say that about myself” and instead give myself, my body, my skin, grace and love.

i don’t really know what compelled me to share this, as it’s not something i’m necessarily proud of sharing. i also prefer to share the pretty and inspiring and happy things on my blog, but i also want to share the real and honest. i’ve had my blog for 6+ years now, and it’s changed a lot, but i always want it to be authentically me, and right now, this is where i’m at.  it was helpful for me to write down how i’m feeling and what i’m experiencing and to read my feelings, put into words.  i’m just hoping that even one other person out there reads this and is reminded to speak love over their body and to not be quick to judge and condemn yourself based on the way you look. <3

xo

LUCKY COLLECTIVE!

Posted on: Thursday, May 12, 2016

I have some exciting news! I’ve launched my own social media, digital marketing and creative shop – Lucky Collective. I’ve wanted to work for myself for a really long time and one main reason was to have more control of my work/life balance and have flexibility to work on what I want and when I want. I chose the word collective because it’s a word that implies bringing together – and that’s what I want to do – bring together amazing people with different skills and talents to do awesome work. My own specialities are social media marketing, event planning, influencer activations and the like, but ultimately, I want to be able to pull in other people with different talents, like PR and graphic design, to work together with me! One of my favorite things to do is to connect people to one another, and I’m excited about this career adventure that *hopefully* will let me do more of that, both personally and professionally!

If you know any brands, businesses or individuals who need help with all things digital marketing – keep me in mind. My work email is theluckycollective@gmail.com and here’s my full site: luckycollective.com!

Huge thank you to my good friends Renee for designing the site and Brian for all of his coding/behind-the-scenes magic. <3

a new blogging chapter!

Posted on: Saturday, November 7, 2015

hi friends! i’m super excited to reveal my newly rebranded and re-designed blog!

before i dive into the new blog, i wanted to share my blogging story with you guys. i started blogging at polish my crown in 2010 because i wanted an outlet to share, to document, to connect with others. the name polish my crown started after my friends and i made a realization that we needed to treat ourselves as queens, worthy of respect, dignity and love, even when other people don’t. we joked about ‘crown polishing’, which is essentially giving yourself or someone else a little pick-me-up – a compliment, a life truth reminder, a glass of champagne, a bouquet of flowers – whatever sets you back on the mindset that you are worthy of respect, dignity and love.

over the past five years, i’ve blogged throughout different chapters in life – from internships and new jobs to moves across the country and traveling around the world. i’ve documented really hard situations, like losing a friend, and i’ve shared happy life milestones, like graduating college and getting married. i’ve curated pretty photos, thought-provoking articles, #GIRLPOWER motivation and things that make me happy. i’ve met blogging-turned-real-life friends – that’s been one of the coolest things – getting connected to so many inspiring people! i’ve learned a lot of lessons about who i am and what i want my life to be about. i’ve shared my life story in bits and pieces and mostly, i’ve shared content all about thankfulness, self love and care and empowerment.

at times, i would share every single day and at other times, i wouldn’t blog for a week or so. i haven’t viewed my blog as a business or even side project necessarily, but instead as my own small piece of the Internet where i share what i’m going through with the hopes that it helps or inspires just one person. i’ve wanted to create a space that truly is a pick-me-up or ‘crown polish’ – people feel better, more empowered, inspired and ready to conquer whatever is ahead.

LUCKYANDIBLOG.com is a new blogging chapter for me! it’s not necessarily a new blog, because all the old content is still here and i’ll still be sharing what i normally post. it’s simply a new name and design that i’m so pumped about! i’ve been @luckyandi on social media for as long as i’ve been online and the name has just kind of stuck. rather than come up with a creative title for a new blog, i’m keeping it simple and just making this blog – luckyandi. there won’t be one set topic or theme for my posts, but the general, i’ll highlight adventures and celebrations. i am passionate about adventuring, so i’ll be sharing about travel and my adventures in san francisco, this magical city i currently call home. i want to always be conscious about appreciation and celebration, finding beauty and goodness in the every day and taking every moment to celebrate anything. you’ll find this kind of stuff in the thankful lists category & the celebrations category.

in my first ever post in 2010, i wrote: “this blog is not going to be all about me. it will not be a blog about ‘why my life is awesome’ or anything of the sort. i want to post videos, stories, pictures, quotes and anything else that inspires me, confuses me, makes me happy and/or anything else that adds to the thrill of everyday life. i want this blog to reflect why it’s important to laugh at certain situations and why it’s important to learn from all situations. I choose to remain positive, even when I’m feeling pretty low and a little ‘crown polishing’ never hurt anyone. i hope you enjoy reading why i am happy finding inspiration in my everyday life.”

in this new chapter of my blogging adventure, i’ll echo what 20-year-old me said: i want to share inspiration in my every day life. that comes in all forms, and i’ll be sharing it in all types of ways. thanks for following along and welcome to the new luckyandi world! xo

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