Entries Tagged as 'Inspiration, Etc.'

what i wish i’d known (by nora ephron)

Posted on: Tuesday, November 22, 2016

i recently re-read nora ephron’s honest and witty i feel bad about my neck book and loved the entire thing. part of the book made me truly laugh out loud and i highly recommend reading this book and all of her other gems! nora was also the screenwriter and producer for a bunch of romcoms, like when harry met sally and you’ve got mail (one of my ALL TIME faves). since reading some of her books, i’ve really resonated with her storytelling and mostly her words/life advice like this: “above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim” and “what are you going to do? everything, is my guess. it will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. it will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. it will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you. and don’t be frightened: you can always change your mind.” TOTAL QUEEN.

okay anyway, one chapter at the end of this particular book was my very favorite, where she shares “what i wish i’d known.” i wanted to re-share some of my favorites with you today!


WHAT I WISH I’D KNOWN, BY NORA EPHRON
buy, don’t rent.

don’t buy a couch with anything that isn’t more or less beige.

you can’t be friends with people who call after 11pm.

you never know.

the plane is not going to crash.

write everything down.

keep a journal.

take more pictures.

you can order more than one dessert.

you can’t own too many black turtleneck sweaters.

back up your files.

over insure everything.

whenever someone says the words “our friendship is more important than this,” watch out, because it almost never is.

there’s no point in making piecrust from scratch.

the reason you’re waking up in the middle of the night is the second glass of wine.

overtip.

never let them know.

if only one third of your clothes are mistakes, you’re ahead of the game.

there are no secrets.

happy friday & lovely links!

Posted on: Friday, August 12, 2016

Happy FriYAY! I’m in Nashville this weekend, where E and I met up with my parents and sisters for a few days. So happy to be here with them and to be in real summer weather. ;) I haven’t shared a lovely links blog post {all available HERE} in awhile, and wanted to share. Whenever I discover/read a good article, I try to save it on my phone or in a draft email so I can re-read in the future or pass along to a friend. Here’s some of the latest articles I wanted to share with you. Enjoy your weekend, friends!

My awesome friend Kelly and her boyf’s popular Greetings From Tour was recently featured on Conde Nast Traveler! // Follow @greetingstour to see if they are coming to paint an epic mural to YOUR city!

A freelancer’s guide to SF + Oakland // I contributed to this blog post and shared some of my favorite wifi + work spots in SF (more here!)

Our fiddle leaf fig plant is growing! // Here’s some tips & tricks on how to care for a fiddle leaf fig.

Pretty, Affordable Art // Awesome round-up from my friend Cait!

Doesn’t this heirloom tomato and ricotta tart look incredible?

Just bought Present Over Perfect, the just-released book from my fave author Shauna Niequist. CAN’T WAIT to dig in!

Kid Lessons from Dallas Clayton, “bite-sized life lessons to make your life and the lives of those around you better.” // He’s one of my favorite people to follow on Insta @dallasclayton

{Image via Tanja Cappell of Frau Holle Studio}

how to ruin your life

Posted on: Thursday, July 7, 2016

 

We choose a program right out of high school because the proper thing to do is to go straight to University. We choose a job right out of University, even if we didn’t love our program, because we just invested time into it. We go to that job every morning because we feel the need to support ourselves abundantly. We take the next step, and the next step, and the next step, thinking that we are fulfilling some checklist for life, and one day we wake up depressed. We wake up stressed out. We feel pressured and don’t know why. That is how you ruin your life.

You ruin your life by choosing the wrong person. What is it with our need to fast-track relationships? Why are we so enamored with the idea of first becoming somebody’s rather than somebodies? Trust me when I say that a love bred out of convenience, a love that blossoms from the need to sleep beside someone, a love that caters to our need for attention rather than passion, is a love that will not inspire you at 6am when you roll over and embrace it. Strive to discover foundational love, the kind of relationship that motivates you to be a better man or woman, the kind of intimacy that is rare rather than right there. “But I don’t want to be alone,” we often exclaim. Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself. Wait for it. Please, I urge you to wait for it, to fight for it, to make an effort for it if you have already found it, because it is the most beautiful thing your heart will experience.

You ruin your life by letting your past govern it. It is common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren’t special or purposeful. There are moments that will stay with you, words that will stick. You cannot let these define you – they were simply moments, they were simply words. If you allow for every negative event in your life to outline how you view yourself, you will view the world around you negatively.

You ruin your life when you compare yourself to others. The amount of Instagram followers you have does not decrease or increase your value. The amount of money in your bank account will not influence your compassion, your intelligence, or your happiness.

You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you.

You ruin your life by tolerating it. At the end of the day you should be excited to be alive. When you settle for anything less than what you innately desire, you destroy the possibility that lives inside of you, and in that way you cheat both yourself and the world of your potential. We have to strive to do extraordinary work, we have to strive to find extraordinary love. Only then will we tap into an extraordinarily blissful life.

via Bianca Sparacino on ThoughtCatalog // image via Jenna Kutcher

lucky andi archives: ending the fairytale mindset

Posted on: Thursday, May 26, 2016

I originally wrote this post titled Why That Fairytale Mindset Needs to End over three years ago, in 2013 (!!), and thought it was worth re-sharing. Part of the post is a  reflection on women and how our culture often puts pressure, some obvious, some not-so-obvious, to look, behave, and think a certain way. While there’s an influence of stronger women in the media and in our world – from politics (Hillary!) to TV/movies to music (Queen B!) and beyond – we still have a ways to go.

I recently was having dinner with friends and we were talking about negotiating rates for projects. After a lot of conversations with lady friends in similar situations, the consensus was pretty clear – we often settle for less than we think we deserve and feel “rude” or “mean” asking for more. My husband Eric was in the room, and he reminded us that a lot of guys would have no issue asking for exactly what they want and need – and encouraged us to do the same. YAS.

Mostly, when I originally wrote this post, it was a reminder to myself, to be the strong, confident and empowered woman that I am, rather than sinking to a level of insecurity and fragility.  And that still applies today. xo!

Almost every single childhood fairy tale story or movie has the same storyline: woman needs rescued, man saves the day. The end. After recently re-watching this Sex and the City episode and simultaneously reading a chapter in Shauna Niequist’s Bittersweet titled “Princess-free Zone” I got to thinking about how destructive this fairy tale mindset actually is. One simple line from the chapter stuck out to me: “It drives me bonkers when women depend instead on their sexuality or their fragility. I think there’s a better way.” 

I couldn’t agree more.

We women grew up watching movies and reading stories and playing dolls where the male figure sweeps in to save the day and rescue the lost, confused or scared female figure. When we were too old for standard storybook fairy tales, we moved on to a different, yet frightening similar, cultural messaging and media portrayal of women. In these stories, women used their bodies to get what they wanted; these women were frail and weak and depended on men to save them yet again. The only difference is that the men weren’t always portrayed quite literally as a knight in shining armor like in those Disney movies.

There was a phase during high school where I wouldn’t answer questions out loud in class because I didn’t want to be considered smart.  Instead of acting like a confident, outgoing sixteen-year-old girl, I would play the confused dumb blonde role just to sadly enough, have people pay attention to me. I’ve always been friendly, easy to get along with and happy and was fearful that being smart and simply being myself would jeopardize those things. That’s when the dumb questions and the flakiness would slowly seep into my conversations and interactions and turn me into someone I wasn’t. This VICE article shares more insight {some truthful, some just hilarious} at why girls play dumb.

This isn’t something I’m proud of and it’s not who I was raised to be. I was taught to take control of and responsibility for my own actions, that I have a good head on my shoulders. I was taught to speak openly and intelligently and to expect that everyone, both males and females, older and younger, treat me with respect and dignity. I was taught to be independent and at the same time, collaborate and work with others as equals in any and all situations. I was taught to work hard, to never back down and to wholeheartedly follow my dreams and my faith. My hope and prayer is that more women learn that they don’t need someone else to save them. Women have the capacity and opportunity to be self-reliant, self-sufficient and perhaps most important of all, self-loving.

Don’t get me wrong: I am a girly girl in lots of ways through and through. I always have been – including during that terrifying dumb blonde phase of high school –  and don’t see it changing any time soon. I enjoy getting my nails done, I wear heels most days of the week and I could talk about almost any and every fashion show or monthly magazine cover. I like to be taken out on dates and prefer to talk about the latest shoe trend rather than the latest football game score. I don’t want you to mistake me for being anti-feminine or to confuse femininity with fragility.

To the men out there, please celebrate confidence, intelligence, strength, passion and kindness in women and not just their sexuality or fragility. To the lovely women reading this, quit relying on men to rescue you and quit depending on men to make you feel beautiful or accepted. That’s putting a whole lot of pressure ON THEM – and doing yourself a disservice. You are not complete because you have the attention from a guy and you don’t need someone else to figure it all out for you, to tell you what is or isn’t beautiful, smart or wonderful.  It’s time you view yourself as beautiful or accepted, regardless of what anyone – male or female – thinks. Don’t be afraid to be smart and don’t be afraid to go after what you want – whether that’s in your career, relationship or any other aspect of life.

I hope today and everyday you realize the the importance of being active with your own life – active with your decisions and conversations and interactions. I hope you embrace how gloriously freeing it is to take ownership for your own life; rather than watch someone else dictate or bulldoze you and your dreams, hopes and plans. Most of all, I hope you let go of that fairy tale mindset that whispers someone else needs to rescue you.

Lots of love,
Andi

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