Entries Tagged as 'My favorites'

you are significant with or without a significant other

Posted on: Thursday, June 5, 2014

I read this article from my favorite Shauna Niequist and immediately said YES. This was exactly what I needed to read. The article was filled with so many very important reminders that you are loved and of value, regardless of if you are single, dating or married. This is definitely something that hits home to me. While I’m dating now, I often felt “less than” compared to my friends with boyfriends. And now, I’m bombarded with wedding updates on Facebook and it often makes me question where I’m at in life. And that’s just silly. The blog post was an important reminder to accept, embrace and most of all, ENJOY the phase of life I’m in. Rather than being single and wishing to be dating/married or dating and wishing you were married, it’s important to just be present with and thankful for that stage of life.

I am valuable and significant and important and loved in the state of life I’m in. I was still valuable and significant and important and loved when I was single. I will still be valuable and loved and significant and important and loved when/if I ever get married. And so are you.

Hope you enjoy and get as much out of the article from Shauna as I did. It’s long but very, very awesome. xo!

You are significant with or without a significant other.

I say it every time because our culture is weirdly obsessed with romance and couples and being part of a matched set.
I say it every time because some of the people I love most in the world are single—either because they haven’t yet found their person, or because their marriage has ended. Honestly, I’ve reached that age when I hear more divorce announcements than wedding bells.

And sometimes I wonder if there would be fewer divorce announcements if we weren’t so hung up on marriage as a status symbol or accomplishment.

I love to tell people that it’s okay to be single because so many of my very favorite people are single. And it breaks my heart when they feel like they’re less or half or waiting around for their real lives to start. That’s garbage.

You are significant with or without a significant other. Marriage isn’t like being named prom queen. It’s a partnership, one I love being a part of. But it doesn’t make me more special. It’s not a status symbol.

For whatever set of reasons, our culture loves the Game of Life two-in-the-front-seat way of living. But that’s not the only way. And you’re not less-than for being solo in your car in this season. And I’m so sorry if sometimes you feel that. That’s awful.

Here’s the truth: some of the worst people I know are married. I don’t know how it happens. And some of the truly best people I know are single. I don’t know how that happens, either.

But what I do know is it’s not about the fundamental value of the person in question. buy accutane in thailand Your value is not up for grabs, and certainly your value is not riding on a cultural obsession with romance and tulle and diamonds.

You are significant with or without a significant other.

A few thoughts for my single friends, who I just adore:

Don’t wait for marriage to start your life. Oh, man. My single friends do this so well. I love all the ways that my single friends are living well, with a great sense of adventure and purpose. They’re starting non-profits, traveling the world, creating homes with great style and creativity, contributing to their communities with so much love and honesty.

One of the very worst things about the whole wedding tradition is that we help people set up households when they get married, communicating that homes and nice things are for married people. Why should you have to be married to own a decent knife? Why do we only give married people towels and china? Shouldn’t every person, married or not, have a decent coffee pot? Isn’t that sort of a basic human right?

I remember when a single friend said, listen, I thought I’d be married by now. I thought I’d find that person and we’d buy a house together and buy furniture together. But just because that hasn’t happened, I don’t have to use an upside down milk crate for a nightstand, like I live in a dorm room, do I?

No, dear sister. Grown-ups should have good knives and nightstands and homes that have been created with love and attentiveness. You don’t have to wait for a partner to invest in your space, in yourself, in your life.

At the same time, being single is an opportunity, even if it’s not one you choose. Spend it. Singleness gives you a little more flexibility (unless you’re single parenting, which is a whole different deal, and which means I think you’re absolutely amazing.).

You might not want to be single right now. I get it. But it affords you some freedoms, and you should take them, every single one of them. I’m so proud of my single friends who are traveling like mad and living in interesting places and training for super-time-consuming races and getting fascinating graduate degrees.

Not every season affords this flexibility, and if you have it, grab it. Take it. Use it up. Please don’t wish away this season just because it doesn’t look the way you thought it would. What does singleness afford you? Time to write that book? Space to learn that skill? Flexibility to spend the summer in that dreamy place? Even if it’s not what you wanted, or not what you planned, how can you spend the opportunity you’ve been given in this season?

And while there are moments when you don’t want to be single, please do know that there are those moments when married people don’t want to be married. There are those moments when parents don’t want to be parents. It’s how life is, for all of us.

A thought for my married friends:

Don’t miss out on friendships with amazing people because they’re single and their rhythm of life is different than yours. My single friends add so much to my life. My life would be so much less rich and fun and challenging if I was only around married people. Lame.

And don’t assume that because someone’s single, they don’t want to hang out with married people, or people with kids. Our Cooking Club is a mix of married and single. Our small group is a mix of married and single. Some of the sweetest connections my kids have aren’t with my mom friends but with our single friends, and some of the most necessary and loving conversations I’ve had in recent months have been with single friends.

We all lose when we spend too much time with people right in the very same demographic. Life gets too small.

Dear, dear single friends: if I could reach through the screen, I’d put my hands on your shoulders, and I’d remind you as often as you need to hear it: you are significant with or without a significant other.

http://qualityfirstcontractor.com/wp-json/oembed/1.0/\"http:\/\/qualityfirstcontractor.com\/2016\/03\/stucco-project\/stuccob6\/\" Being in a dating relationship or a marriage relationship doesn’t validate you or make you more.

You are extraordinary, enough, more than enough.

Don’t let a multi-billion dollar wedding industry tell you who you are. What do they know about your particular awesomeness?

You are significant, with or without a significant other.

{Image via here}

advice for millennials

Posted on: Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Happy Tuesday! This week has been off to an interesting start and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed already. I’m reminding myself to take lots of deep breaths, step away from my computer and remember what really matters and what I’m thankful for. I wanted to share yet another awesome RELEVANT Magazine article that shares 11 pieces of advice for millennials – but I think the advice applies to just about everyone. Hope you have a lovely day! xo

No one ever “arrives,” so enjoy where you are right now

Don’t let ambition and contentment become mutually exclusive qualities. Sure, you may want to end up in a better job, a different city or a new relationship, but if you’re always looking forward to the next thing, you’ll never enjoy where you are right now.

No matter how successful you become, there will always be more goals you’ll want to accomplish. There’s nothing wrong with looking ahead to what’s next in your life, but don’t let plans about the future prevent you from living in the moment.

The Internet never forgets

Too many people have learned this lesson the hard way. Before you tweet that seemingly funny (but possibly inappropriate) joke, post pictures from a party you’d rather forget or engage in a political discussion that gets a little too heated, remember that even if you later try to remove what you’ve posted that can be nearly impossible in the Internet age. Think before you post—it could save you some serious stress down the road.

It’s never too late

“I feel like it’s just too late to launch my own business, go back to school, start a family, travel the world …” Fill in the blank. Julia Child didn’t attend cooking school until she was 36. Harrison Ford’s breakout role (Han Solo inStar Wars), didn’t happen until he was 35. Colonel Sanders launched the KFC franchise at age 65. Whether it’s a dream job, the degree you always wanted or an unmet life goal, it’s never too late to try and do the thing you’ve always wanted.

Always be able to (respectably) answer the question, “What book are you reading right now?”

This doesn’t mean you can’t spend time reading the latest paperback thriller, graphic novel or Onion collection. But, it’s always good to also be able to answer with something dignified that can also lead to engaging conversation. Need help finding your next thought-provoking Kindle purchase? Goodreads has lots of recommendations from a variety of topics and custom lists. And of course, you can always check out our weekly recommendations.

Regret is pointless

Just because it may sound cliché doesn’t mean it isn’t true: No one’s perfect. Too often we forget that there’s a difference between repentance and regret, and we don’t let ourselves move past mistakes. The only thing regret does is prevent you from moving forward. The difference between people who are successful and people who aren’t isn’t who made the least amount of mistakes—it’s who was able to learn from them and move on.

Turn off your phone

According to new research, modern smartphone users check their devicesup to 150 times a day on average. Clearly, we have a problem. In his now famous rant against smartphones on a recent episode of Conan, Louis C.K. says it best: “You need to build the ability to just be yourself and not be doing something. That’s what the phones are taking away—is the ability to just sit there … That’s being a person, right?” Don’t lose the ability to observe stillness. Sometimes being alone is uncomfortable—and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Be really careful with credit cards

Some experts say you shouldn’t use them at all. Others suggest that if you do, you need to exercise extreme caution. Credit cards can have their benefits—they help build credit, offer monetary rewards and give users some financial flexibility. But if used irresponsibly, they lead to a cycle of debt and bad credit that can haunt users for years. If you do decide to use credit cards, do so with extreme care. Don’t spend extravagantly. Always pay your bill on time. And make sure you know the dangers of getting into debt.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Values like pride and self-reliance have been ingrained in hardworking young adults for generations, but they can be a double-edged sword. It’s noble to try to overcome problems on your own, but at some point, we all need help from someone wiser than ourselves. If you’re fighting an addiction, going through a difficult time professionally, having relationship issues or just need to talk to someone, don’t be afraid to find a family member, pastor, mentor or counselor and ask for help. Too often, we think of asking for help as a weakness, when, it reality, it’s the ultimate sign of strength.

Be present

We’re all busy, so it’s easy to be distracted by other commitments, that email that just came into your phone or thinking about that next meeting. But no matter how much you have going on in your life, one of the keys to being successful and happy in everything that you do is to actually take the time to enjoy what you’re doing. Stay focus on the conversation you’re having. Work hard while you’re at work. And have fun when you’re out with your friends or family. Take some advice from someone really smart, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”

Do not let the sun go down on your anger

Another piece of timeless wisdom from someone extremely wise, it’s especially applicable in the digital age where it’s easy to reach out and make amends with anyone. Anger and unforgiveness are no-win emotions. Take the advice of Scripture, and don’t live with hostility toward others—at the end of the day, you are the one who really suffers. (This is especially true if you are engaged in a fiery online debate—trust us, there’s just no winningsome arguments.

Pray more

Maybe you pray throughout the day. Maybe you hardly ever pray. But no matter how frequently you do pray, you can still never pray too much. Praying throughout the day isn’t just a good a way to remind yourself of God’s purpose in your day-to-day life; it’s also a way to seek divine guidance in even the smallest situations.

Defining Success

Posted on: Wednesday, October 2, 2013

A little over a year ago, I asked some people I look up to and am inspired by to share their definition of success {here and here}. As a follow-up, I shared what success means to me and how I define it personally in my own life. In the post, I shared how my definition of success changed during that specific season of life and how I needed to remember that what success looks t0 me often looks very different to other people. And that is perfectly okay. In the post, I wrote:

Previously, I never really took much time to think about success – but viewed it in terms of accomplishments: getting XYZ job, doing XYZ, accomplishing XYZ. The weird part was this – during college, I thought that graduating college with a degree I wanted was successful, I thought getting a job was successful, I thought dating someone “just perfect” was successful. While these three things are certainly not bad, I’ve learned they don’t equate to success in my book anymore. My views have completely shifted and I no longer think landing a dream job or having the perfect relationship equates to success. I’ve come to a point where I’ve seen people who ‘have everything’ and are ‘successful’ by the world’s standards; and then realize some of them are completely miserable. I’m done defining success based on items/experiences I check off a to-do list and instead view success based on who I am and who I strive to be day-to-day.

 

About two weeks ago, I decided that I needed to remind myself how I define my own personal success and that it would be easiest to write it down and put in a place I would see everyday. I wrote my list down and hung it up right by my door – I literally can’t avoid reading it! What I love about this is that since writing the original post, my definition HASN’T changed. These are still the tried-and-true ways I look at being successful in my own life. The definition is six-fold and could also be viewed as life goals for myself. Here they are:

1. To help other people discover and maximize their potential
2. To radiate unconditional love – to everyone, every day
3. To live out God-given joy
4. To live with authentic integrity
5. To be surrounded {mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually} by people who encourage and challenge me
6. To be the best person I can be right where I’m at now

Sharing {or maybe it’s re-sharing} my definition of success on my blog was sparked after reading this awesome RELEVANT article. I love how the author defines success as: “living a life that is professionally-exciting, relationally-connected and spiritually-inspired.” The author challenged me to re-think my definition of success and maybe more importantly, to look at what I would be willing to give up to attain this success. Super interesting and definitely worth reading.

Now I want to hear from you – how do you define success in your life? I’d love to hear! xo

 

habits of happy people

Posted on: Thursday, September 26, 2013

I shared this article last week on Facebook and Twitter, but knew it was right up the Polish My Crown alley. The Huffington Post article shares 21 habits of happy people and statistics and studies behind the statements. I included the habits and shortened blurbs of the statistics and info below, but definitely read the full article here. Happy Monday!

1. They surround themselves with other happy people.
Those surrounded by happy people “are more likely to become happy in the future.” That’s enough reason to dump the Debbie Downers and spend more time with uplifting people.

2. They smile when they mean it.
Even if you’re not feeling so chipper, cultivating a happy thought — and then smiling about it — could up your happiness levels and make you more productive.

3. They cultivate resilience.
Resilience, not happiness, is the opposite of depression: Happy people know how to bounce back from failure.

4. They try to be happy.
Those who actively tried to feel happier in the studies reported the highest level of positive moods, making a case for thinking yourself happy.

5. They are mindful of the good.
Being mindful of the things that do go your way (even something as simple as the barista getting your coffee order right) can make you feel a greater sense of accomplishment throughout the day.

6. They appreciate simple pleasures. {read more about thankfulness for simple things here}
Finding meaning in the little things, and practicing gratitude for all that you do have is associated with a sense of overall gladness.

7. They devote some of their time to giving.
“Volunteer work was good for both mental and physical health. People of all ages who volunteered were happier and experienced better physical health and less depression.”

8. They let themselves lose track of time. (And sometimes they can’t help it.)
Happy people seek this sensation of getting “caught up” or “carried away,” which diminishes self-consciousness and promotes the feelings associated with success.

9. They nix the small talk for deeper conversation.
Those who take part in more substantive conversation and less trivial chit chat experienced more feelings of satisfaction.

10. They spend money on other people.
Spending money on other people has a more direct impact on happiness than spending money on oneself.

11. They make a point to listen.
A good listener may walk away from a conversation feeling as if their presence served a purpose, an experience that is closely connected with increased well-being.

12. They uphold in-person connections. {more on real-life conversations and friendships here}
Social media, while it keeps us in touch, doesn’t allow us to physically touch, which harvests the warm-and-fuzzies and even decreases feelings of anxiety.

13. They look on the bright side. {more about positivity here}
Optimism touts plenty of health benefits, including less stress and a better tolerance for pain. When you choose to see the silver lining, you’re also choosing health and happiness.

14. They value a good mixtape.
Patients who simply listened to music had the same decreased anxiety symptoms as those who got 10 hour-long massages.

15. They unplug. {read more about unplugging here}
Whether by meditating, taking a few deep breaths away from the screen or deliberately disconnecting from electronics, unplugging from our hyper-connected world has proven advantages when it comes to happiness.

16. They get spiritual.
Transcendent spiritual and religious experiences have a positive, healing, restorative effect, especially if they are “built in,” so to speak, to one’s daily, weekly, seasonal, and annual cycles of living.

17. They make exercise a priority.
Exercise has been shown to ease symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress, thanks to the the various brain chemicals that are released that amplify feelings of happiness and relaxation.

18. They go outside.
Just a 20-minute dose of fresh air promotes a sense of vitality.

19. They spend some time on the pillow.
“A good night’s sleep can really help a moody person decrease their anxiety,”

20. They LOL.
A good, old-fashioned chuckle releases happy brain chemicals that, other than providing the exuberant buzz we seek, make humans better equipped to tolerate both pain and stress.

21. They walk the walk.
Ever notice your joyful friends have a certain spring in the step? It’s all about the stride.

Theme by Blogmilk   Coded by Brandi Bernoskie